Monday, November 13, 2006


Over the past couple months I've heard several people say, "I was an accident," in regards to their conception. One added, "That's what my mother has told me all my life." Seeing the brokenness, the despair, the lack of self-worth in the lives of one of these people in particular makes me wonder...Could this sense all one's life of being and "accident" contribute to such destructive behavior, such a devastated life?

No, I want to say. You aren't an accident. You were planned in the mind of God before you were conceived. You are precious. You are worthy.

I'm not a quiverfull diehard...However, it grieves me to see the surprise of an unexpected child viewed as an accident. Furthermore, that any child would be raised with the understanding that they were an unwelcome intruder into a carefully planned family--how sad.

I can't think of a good way to wrap this up, it's just something that's been on my mind lately. Let's welcome these precious little ones for what they are--blessings, eternal souls worthy of celebration.


Stephen Michael said...

There are no accidents. Though I was told that as well... That I had ruined my father's life and plans. As if I had any control over the situation.

Does it have an impact on the child? You better believe it. Even when spoken in hushed tones or out of earshot, the kids pick up on it, and of course, blame themselves.For me the words hurt 100 times worse than the bruises. The bruises are all gone these days, but being thought of as a mistake still lingers, even though I know better now.

The over-riding message that comes through is...their lives would have been happier and better if I had never existed. Many times this leads to self-hatred, self-destruction or retaliation against others.

On the flip-side, many planned pregnancies coupled with poor parenting have resulted in some of the most heinous humans on the planet. God can take a so-called mistake and do amazing things.

Rebecca said...

I agree with you.

I appreciate my own parents very much in that regard. I never stopped to do the math until I was an adult, a mother myself, and I overheard a relative talking about the circumstances of my conception. Even that came as quite a shock, but I had never felt unwanted.

And even if they hadn't wanted me, God did. I still struggle with accepting my uniqueness, though.

Charity Grace said...

Thanks for sharing, y'all.